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Healthy Kitty. PSK's Journal
09-29-2015, 03:31 PM
Post: #1
Healthy Kitty. PSK's Journal
OK. I am starting a journal. Partially for motivation and partially because I forget so easily. If I have a place I can look back on how I felt before I bet dealing with future problems won't be so hard.

Today I weighed in as it's my second official week of my metabolism reset. I was 144.2. Almost a pound more than last week.
I didn't freak out. last week I weighed in at 143.5. I didn't freak out.
I remembered all those posts that sais it's not true "gain" and it is all reversible. My body is freaking out.

I've been fat my whole life, but it didn't matter so much until I was about 20 when someone rudely pointed out that I was disgusting.
Since then I've lost and gained 3 times. Developed some eating disorder and generally just felt like a failure at life.

Someone on MFP directed me to EM2WL after a pleading post about not being able to lose weight (and only gaining) for 3 years.

The main blog posts describing the yo-yo person living on hardly any food, gallons of coffee, working out a lot and still being tired and overweight describe me to a T.

Until weighing in for the reset, I had not weighed myself since January. It was so depressing just seeing the scale go up.
I've gained 5lbs even from then. probably from dieting and binging.
I don't want to live like that anymore. I want to be able to eat and not feel like I must punish myself for it, or that I am doing something wrong and feel like a failure.

I do want to lose the excessive fat. It's in an unhealthy range now. I want even more to stop gaining weight.

From what I've read doing this reset things will accomplish that eventually. And then if I lose weight afterwards, awesome.
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09-29-2015, 03:47 PM
Post: #2
RE: Healthy Kitty. PSK's Journal
Training and Hunger.

I'm meeting with trainer guy at the gym this afternoon. I must not be awkward with him. I must tell him what my actual goals are: eat food, lift weights, lose fat.
I'm sure he'll be understanding. He seemed very much so when I spoke with him briefly last week. He said he does powerlifting and eats regular food, so that means he should get me, right?

I've avoided asking people for help with lifting until now because I'm insecure. Dudes don't want to help fat chicks lift. Hot chicks, sure, but not fatties who don't dress up for the gym like me.

We'll see how this works out. Past experiences make me feel vulnerable and I'm scared.

Now about my hunger. I just started with the more calories. In 3 weeks I'll have a decent average on my TDEE from my FitBit but for now I'm eating about 1650-1750, up from 1500's two weeks ago, 1 week 1400 before and <1300 before that for a month and <1200 before that.

I eat. I feel full. I feel better. Then I feel really hungry. Then I eat again and I'm super full. I'm not sure if this is my "stuffed" phase moving into hungry phase, but only gaining <1lb in a week doesn't seem terrible.

My calorie goals are flocculating as I figure out how the FitBit works for me. I guess as long as I eat around what it says to I should be fine. *shrug*
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09-29-2015, 06:30 PM
Post: #3
RE: Healthy Kitty. PSK's Journal
So happy you decided to start a journal ... like you said, it makes it so much easier to look back on your journey and track your progress. It's so much easier than having things spread across multiple threads.

One thing to remember, your reset won't actually *start* until you find and get your intake up to your TDEE. This time you are spending increasing your calories is extremely valuable, in that you are in the process of getting your metabolism revved back up, but your reset time clock won't actually start ticking until you reach your TDEE. Here in your journal, it might be helpful if you make not of those goal numbers (also helps for those of us who may have to look back to refresh our memories...)

Hopefully all went well with your first meeting with your trainer. Hopefully he embraced your plan and will encourage you to continue to fuel your body as you start a strength training program with him. If for any reason you don't feel 1,000% comfortable find someone else. You should really be able to put your trust and confidence in this person and you should be on the same wavelength, calorie intake-wise.

Can't wait to hear how things went!

Anitra Soto
Team EM2WL
ISSA Certified Fitness Trainer
ISSA Certified Specialist in Senior Fitness

My EM2WL Journey:
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10-02-2015, 12:52 PM
Post: #4
RE: Healthy Kitty. PSK's Journal
Trying not to feel discouraged by checking some facts.
My clothes are rather tight on me. My legs are swollen from strength training, I guess because - wow - tight pants.
I've been insanely thirsty.
I've been averaging about 1850 calories a day - higher than I planned, but I got excited about eating.
I'm not sure if I should just keep it at 1850 or lower it to avoid weight gain; slowly bring it back up.
I will probably keep in the range until Tuesday when I check in on my weight again.
Still working on a set training schedule.
Will go to yoga on Saturday - hopefully stretch out a bit.
And I will buy more pairs of larger pants so I don't feel so sorry for myself.

The eating is going OK. I get full easily, but then I become hungry quicker. I have been meeting my protein goals most days. My acid reflux is acting up with the food increase. Must buy Zantac. Hopefully that will calm down soon.
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10-02-2015, 08:03 PM
Post: #5
RE: Healthy Kitty. PSK's Journal
FitBit report's average in 1850/ average out 1738.
Will keep it at about 1700 for the next week at least until I have more info.
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10-02-2015, 08:28 PM (This post was last modified: 10-02-2015 08:29 PM by AnitraSoto.)
Post: #6
RE: Healthy Kitty. PSK's Journal
I think that ^^^ sounds like a great idea. Try out that 1700 and see if things stabilize. Remember, coming from a long history of dieting, it may take your metabolism a while to acclimate and adjust. Just give it some time and things will start to feel better. And great job going out and buying some clothes that make you feel good *right now*. There is nothing more discouraging than feeling like a stuffed sausage in your jeans. This is a fairly lengthy process, so you might as well settle in and feel good about what you are doing for your body. Besides, with the addition of strength training, your entire body shape is likely to change to the point that even if when you drop some fat your old clothes will most likely not fit the way they used to.

Anitra Soto
Team EM2WL
ISSA Certified Fitness Trainer
ISSA Certified Specialist in Senior Fitness

My EM2WL Journey:
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10-05-2015, 06:19 PM
Post: #7
RE: Healthy Kitty. PSK's Journal
Monday! 10/3

I've started the 4 week upper/lower body workout plan.
I tested some of the exercises Friday night to check time and what weights I could handle. My legs are WAY stronger than my arms.
I'm going to do the 4 day split. It fits my schedule for this month.
I put on my HRM to see calories burned during the lifting and I added it to MFP exercise since it's not likely to be tracked with the FitBit.

I've kept my calorie intake between 1700-1800 for the past few days.

All this weekend, even though I'm larger than I have been in a long time, I felt better. I didn't feel like a bloated whale. Probably due to the strength training I did throughout last week. Yay!
Check-in on weight tomorrow.
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10-06-2015, 05:30 AM
Post: #8
RE: Healthy Kitty. PSK's Journal
Good work! Weight lifting is a great way to feel good. I like the feeling of strength - it's empowering. Keep it going!
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10-06-2015, 02:06 PM
Post: #9
RE: Healthy Kitty. PSK's Journal
Tuesday weight check-in. Today I am 144.6. Up about 6 oz from last week. That's great considering the previous week I gained about 1lb. Seems like my 1700-1800 range is good for now. Awesome.
I took my measurements as well, so that will be helpful.

I'm also sick, which is unusual for me. Flu-like symptoms. Left work early yesterday, skipped class, stayed in bed.
I'm wondering if with my new workouts I'm not stretching enough or drinking enough water or something and maybe there are toxins hanging out in my body. It's a zany theory, but I just don't get sick. Upping my vitamins and water intake.

Still going to go to my routine this afternoon since my fever is gone and I'm no longer achy and so on.
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10-13-2015, 12:48 PM
Post: #10
RE: Healthy Kitty. PSK's Journal
Week 3 check in. Today's weight: 145.2
Gained 1lb since last week.

According to my MFP/FitBit, my average IN/OUT was 2047/2167.
Give a little room for error and that looks about even.
I will assume the gain is from lifting and eating more in general.
I've done OK at upping my steps, though I fail to see how that burns so many calories.
I was Super active this past weekend (camping, incl all the packing/setup/teardown) so my IN/OUT was much higher than previous weeks.
It would be awesome to be able to do that all the time. After 3 days I was physically tired, but it was good.

TBH, I'm a little freaked out by the gain. My instinct is to restrict calories and add cardio, but I'd like to stick with something for once.

What I'm eating might be affecting this as well. Cupboards are a bit bare and time is short, so it's whatever I can find ATM. Lots of toast, eggs, nut butter, leftover cheese and granola..
After I get paid I can buy groceries, do food prep and I'll be eating better.

Meanwhile, the lifting thing is going OK. . Started using the rack so I'm able to do more. The lower body part works out great. The upper body part.. not so much. My arms are weak. My whole right side is weak. I hope this stuff makes it better.
Upper body weights range is in the 30lbs.
Lower body is in 50lbs range. 95lbs deadlift last time.

I will measure again in a couple weeks. Maybe improving my eating and sticking to the lifting plan thing will make a difference.
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