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Ripped The Band-Aid Off (Ready, Set, Go!)
12-02-2015, 02:37 AM (This post was last modified: 12-13-2015 08:16 AM by AnitraSoto.)
Post: #1
Ripped The Band-Aid Off (Ready, Set, Go!)
Hello, everyone! happy I am very excited to have joined this forum. I have decided to embark on the metabolism reset journey and cannot wait to meet everyone else who is or has been on this journey. There is so much to learn about our bodies and how to properly fuel them. It is definitely a struggle, and it is definitely something that I feel requires as much encouragement, support, and knowledge as possible!

I will now try to summarize my past dieting history as well as to write a detailed report of my past dieting history as accurately as I can remember.

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CURRENT STATS big grin

Sex: Female
Age: 24
Height: 5'10"
Starting weight: 144(ish) lbs
Current Weight: ?
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DIETING HISTORY SUMMARY coffee

I have always been a fat kid who just kept getting fatter. I decided to lose some weight when I was about 11 and have been on and off diets ever since. While I was not in a rush to lose weight, the way I approached losing weight was in an unhealthy manner. The first diet I ever did was Atkins, and ever since then, I have generally tried to stay low carb. However, I did not understand the importance of nutrition, resulting in unhealthy eating. I remember dropping as low as 500-700 calories during my mid-teens, and then bumping up to 1200 calories. I also remember times where I would decide to eat more freely, avoiding counting calories. While I do not remember the specifics on exactly how long I was under-eating, I do know that it wasn't until 2014 that I got very desperate to lose weight. A lot of stress from life in general had built up by then. Things felt out of control, and I now wonder if I was strangely coping with life by giving myself a false sense of control of at least one thing (my body) by attempting these extreme ways of losing more weight. Also, skinny = magically being happy forever, right? Wrong, but that was what I told myself sometimes. I began to eat extremely low carb (20g or a little more or less at times), around 1200-1500 calories I assume, and I did A LOT of cardio. I also began experimenting with 24hr-48hr fasts. I ENTERED 2015 WITH AMENORRHEA, SYMPTOMS OF MALNUTRITION AND THYROID DISORDERS (WEAKNESS, CHILLS, PINS/NEEDLES IN HANDS/FEET, FATIGUE, DIZZY SPELLS (EXTREMELY LOW BLOOD PRESSURE), DRY EYES, TROUBLE SLEEPING, ETC.), BAD EATING HABITS (BINGE EATING + CHEW/SPIT FOOD), AND AN OVERALL SIGNIFICANT DECREASE IN MY MENTAL/PHYSICAL HEALTH.
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DIETING HISTORY DETAILS coffee

11-12 years old:
  • Lost about 20 lbs from Atkins and cardio. Note: I did not understand Atkins except that it was low carb and that it should help me lose weight. So, sometimes I would get my carb goal purely from granola bars. When I went off the diet, I gained back a lot (and MORE) of the weight I had lost.
Teens:
  • I lost some weight by eating 500-700 calories (the worst I ever did). I do not remember how long I kept it up, but I know it was an on and off diet.
  • I generally tried to stay low carb, and while I remember not being too strict with food at times, I remember under-eating at times.
2014 In A Nutshell:
  • I only lost about 7 lbs.
  • I got very strict and went VERY low carb (I tried to stay strictly less than 20-30g) with an increase in cardio exercise and a low caloric intake (about 1200-1500, I am guessing).
  • I developed bad eating habits: BINGE EATING AND CHEWING/SPITTING OUT FOOD.
  • I lost my period in August.don't know
  • I was afraid of food.
  • I was afraid of gaining weight.
October 2014:
  • I learned about EM2WL, and I ate 1700-2000 with a lot of cardio for about a month (not a reset, I know. I was terrified, impatient, and did not fully understand the process of EM2WL). I lost some weight, and then I dropped my calories back down to 1400-1500 calories while continuing the same amount of exercise.
  • I was afraid of food.
  • I was afraid of gaining weight.
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NOTE: IN 2014, I BECAME VERY DESPERATE AND OBSESSED TO LOSE WEIGHT. I ENTERED 2015 WITH AMENORRHEA, SYMPTOMS OF MALNUTRITION AND THYROID DISORDERS (WEAKNESS, CHILLS, PINS/NEEDLES IN HANDS/FEET, FATIGUE, DIZZY SPELLS (EXTREMELY LOW BLOOD PRESSURE), DRY EYES, TROUBLE SLEEPING, ETC.), BAD EATING HABITS (BINGE EATING + CHEW/SPIT FOOD), AND AN OVERALL SIGNIFICANT DECREASE IN MY MENTAL/PHYSICAL HEALTH.
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January 2015:
  • I was still eating low carb at 1400-1500 calories per day.
  • I was not very active for the first few weeks due to recovering from a cold and oral surgery, but I soon began climbing stairs for cardio.
  • Weight loss was painfully slow (1-2 lbs per month).
  • I was afraid of food.
  • I was afraid of gaining weight.
February-May 2015:
  • I stopped the cardio and stuck with pilates (fasted workouts).
  • Began experimenting with Intermittent Fasting, and ketogenic diet, as a way to stop the urges to binge. I thought that maybe if I just wanted to eat a giant meal (binge) and then not be hungry the whole day, then Intermittent Fasting was for me. Again, I was not fully understanding what I was doing. I tried 24 hr fasts, 48 hr fasts, eating one giant meal per day, two meals per day, etc. I believe I was simply binging and purging without realizing it.
  • Fainted one morning after getting up too quickly (very low blood pressure).
  • Weight loss was painfully slow (1-2 lbs per month).
  • I was becoming less afraid of food during May.
  • I was afraid of gaining weight.
June-July 2015thumbs up:
  • I learned more about EM2WL and decided to increase my calories slowly (100 calories per week). I was TERRIFIED, and I began to linger on a 10,700-10,900 weekly caloric intake for a a while.
  • Exercise consisted of fasted workouts: Strength training (2-3x per week) along with taking relaxing walks.
  • I learned more about Intermittent Fasting, and then planned to ween myself off of it. I completely stopped the 48hr fasts.
  • Still low carb (30g-50g) but focusing on introduction of foods I had not eaten in a while.
  • The urges to binge and to chew/spit food were mostly gone and under control!
  • Energy levels had improved a lot since January. Symptoms of malnutrition and thyroid disorders were slowly disappearing, and my mood was starting to improve.
  • I began losing a nice amount of weight (3-5lbs per month).
  • I was a little less afraid of food.
  • I was afraid of gaining weight.
  • NOTE: While my weekly caloric intake was ranging from 10,700-10,900, I was still having days where I would eat as low as 1,200 calories.
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AND THEN AUGUST HAPPENED...can't look

August 2015:
  • This entire month was devastating on all levels. Stress levels majorly shot up and there was a week where my nutrition was horrendous. I pretty much only ate peanut butter one week, and then there were days where I barely ate. Afterwards, I ended up having the biggest binge I have ever had (4,000-5,000+ calories surprised). Then I spent the rest of the month trying to undo this binge (and other binges that followed) by eating less and adding more exercise than I was used to. This resulted in a pulled hamstring and very painful/achy feet.
  • The overeating became very hard to control. It made me feel like a failure, and so some days I would completely give in to it, and other days I would decide to get back on track. I felt that I had pretty much "ripped the band-aid" off without meaning to, and I eventually decided to go with it. It felt like the damage had been done (I was severely bloated and saw it as fat gain rather than it most likely being water weight).
  • I was less afraid of food.
  • I was afraid of gaining weight.
September-October 2015:
  • I spent these months not being able to exercise the way I used to due to my aching feet and pulled hamstring.
  • I spent a week eating 2,000-2,900 calories, and then there was another couple of weeks that ranged from 2000-3800 calories. I didn't want to eat THAT much, but my body was fighting me. I couldn't exercise much, and so it was a real mental challenge.
  • Then there was one point where it seems that my body wanted to stick around 2,000-2,100 calories, and I tried that, but I STILL had days where I ate MORE.
  • I was struggling to know WHEN I was truly hungry and HOW MUCH to eat when I was hungry.
  • I was less afraid of food.
  • I was afraid of gaining weight.
November 2015:
  • Still trying to learn to listen to my body.
  • Still struggling to know WHEN I am truly hungry and HOW MUCH to eat when I am hungry.
  • Not afraid of food.
  • Some days I am afraid of weight gain, and other days I am not. It is expected, but I am struggling to accept it.
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These past four months have been a struggle in so many ways. Mentally and physically, a metabolism reset is a journey that cannot and will not be completed overnight, and as I reflect on these past four months, I can see that I have made significant improvements in my physical and mental health when compared to where I was at the beginning of 2015.
  1. My thryoid levels are now in the "low normal range" rather than under.
  2. My period came back in November!!!!!!!party
  3. I have not had dizzy spells, weakness, or fatigue.
  4. My blood pressure is "perfect! Like in the text books!" according to the doctors.
  5. I am not afraid of (most) food anymore.
  6. I am learning to not beat myself up about overeating. If I eat more than usual, I do not try to undo it.
  7. My cognitive thinking is improving so much.
  8. I am learning to love myself.Heart

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Here is a report of my weekly caloric intake for the past 5 months:
*NOTE: I did not eat the same amount of calories every day. For example, in August, I was trying to under-eat by eating as low as 1,300 calories on certain days, but then I ate double or more on the following day.
*BLUE = WEEKS ON RESET

July:
June 28th - July 4th - 10,200; 1,457 cals/day
5th-11th - 10,720; 1,531 cals/day
12th-18th - 10,714; 1,530 cals/day
19th-25th - 9,924; 1,417 cals/day -------> *This is the week when everything started going downhill.
26th - August 1st - 12,000; 1,714 cals/day

August:
2nd-8th - 10,900???; 1,557??? cals/day
9th-15th - 16,000; 2,285 cals/day
16th-22nd - 9,600; 1,371 cals/day -----> *Top and outer side of feet felt bruised.
23rd-29th - 11,400; 1,628 cals/day

September:
August 30th-September 5th - 11,400; 1,628 cals/day
6th 12th - 11,500; 1,642 cals/day
13th-19th - 12,232; 1,747 cals/day -----> *Feet ached + right hamstring pulled.
20th-26th - 16,089; 2,298 cals/day -----> *Ripped the Band-Aid off

October:
September 27-October 3rd - 15,800; 2,257 cals/day
4th-10th - 15,300; 2,185 cals/day
11th-17th - 18,300; 2,614 cals/day -----> *Got a light period (lasted two days)
18th-24th - 16,200; 2,314 cals/day
25th-31st - 17,100; 2,442 cals/day

November:
1st-7th - 18,900; 2,700 cals/day
8th-14th - 17,100; 2,442 cals/day -----> *Officially got my period!!!!!
15th-21st - 18,300; 2,614 cals/day -----> *Began StrongLifts 5x5
22nd-28th - 16,222-16,700; 2,318-2,385 cals/day

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That's all, folks!
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12-02-2015, 03:04 AM
Post: #2
RE: Ripped The Band-Aid Off (Ready, Set, Go!)
Current Activity Level:

StrongLifts 5x5 - Taking it easy as my legs/feet fully heal (No weights for squats yet; Working on squat form).

Walking - Relaxing walks; 5x-7x per week; 1hr long; Sometimes twice a day.

Work From Home - I try to stay on my feet with chores.

Hamstring Rehab - 2x-3x per week; Added in a few hamstring strengthening exercises to help my legs out.
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12-02-2015, 03:23 AM (This post was last modified: 12-02-2015 03:24 AM by BlueJays44.)
Post: #3
RE: Ripped The Band-Aid Off (Ready, Set, Go!)
Macros:

I am working towards the 40/30/30 goal. It's not perfect yet, but I have been able to make some improvements!

Carbs - Went from eating 30g-50g per day to 120g-170g of carbs per day. (Never thought I would eat that many carbs again! party)

Protein - From 80g-120g per day to 140g-160g per day.

Fat - Fat intake has been almost equal to my carb intake (it used to be higher on some days), but I am slowly trying to change that.
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12-02-2015, 03:39 AM
Post: #4
RE: Ripped The Band-Aid Off (Ready, Set, Go!)
Welcome to the forum. I hope we can all support you as you go through this. I think the mental aspect will be the toughest - eating disorders are tough to fight even with a team's support (therapist, nutritionist, doctor) which I don't think you have right now (sorry if I'm wrong). So, don't feel ashamed if you have to reach out for help.
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12-02-2015, 03:39 AM
Post: #5
RE: Ripped The Band-Aid Off (Ready, Set, Go!)
TDEE (What do you think?):

TDEE: 2,400 calories

I am trying to stay around 2,400 calories. I got this from the Scooby Calculator based on my activity level before I hurt my leg/feet.

I had to cut back on exercise for a while after I hurt my leg/feet, but I kept eating (sometimes more!). Now that I have been more active again, I bought a FitBit that says I burn around 2,400 calories on most days.

I figured I would stay at this intake because A) I am not sure if I am truly gaining weight since a lot of new factors may be contributing to my bloating/weight fluctuations (adding carbs back in, getting my period back, etc.), and B) I actually like eating around this level and don't want to cut it down! laughing
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12-02-2015, 03:43 AM (This post was last modified: 12-02-2015 03:43 AM by mrsukyankee.)
Post: #6
RE: Ripped The Band-Aid Off (Ready, Set, Go!)
Yup - I'd stick with it. If you are gaining weight, it's normal. Stick with it and see where you stabilise. Nothing you do is permanent, and as you are quite young, I'd imagine that your actual healthy TDEE might be even higher (tbh).
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12-02-2015, 03:52 AM
Post: #7
RE: Ripped The Band-Aid Off (Ready, Set, Go!)
Hi, mrsukyankee!
Thanks for your advice/support! Yeah, I don't have anyone else to help me with this, and the mental aspect of it all has definitely been the worst. I have been fighting it pretty hard, though. It's just that no one else around me fully understands, haha. So, I am glad to have found this forum.
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12-02-2015, 09:13 AM
Post: #8
RE: Ripped The Band-Aid Off (Ready, Set, Go!)
Yeah, feel free to vent, moan or whatnot any time!
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12-02-2015, 11:10 AM (This post was last modified: 12-02-2015 11:10 AM by KatiAuchinleck.)
Post: #9
RE: Ripped The Band-Aid Off (Ready, Set, Go!)
The mental aspect is 99% of the battle in my humble opinion. You've come a long way. You are among friends here. We will support, guide, and encourage you to the best of our abilities. We've all been through varying degrees of this same battle. You CAN come through on the other side. Patience, endurance, and venting will all be very helpful!!
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12-02-2015, 11:53 AM
Post: #10
RE: Ripped The Band-Aid Off (Ready, Set, Go!)
Thanks, you guys!
I think I might have put way too much information in that first post, but I think it could be helpful to someone. I know it is definitely helping me have it layed out in some sort of timeline/outline as it is making me realize how long certain habits and improvements took to develop (binges, amenorrhea, etc.). Sometimes a day feels like a week, and sometimes a week feels like a month, you know? For example, I can't believe it only took about 4 weeks to get a light period as soon as I started eating more. It felt like an eternity!
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