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Recovering Bulimic
07-27-2012, 09:01 AM
Post: #1
Recovering Bulimic
Hey guys, I'm new here. I found the website via MyFitnessPal.

Little bit of background
I've had bulimia for about 10 years now and desperately trying to beat the battle once and for all. I've been with MFP for an entire month now and managed to not purge for the entire period, quite a milestone in itself.

Current routine
I've been eating less and exercising more. MFP stated I had to eat 1240 cals a day to lose the 2lb a week goal. I'd lost 5-6lbs but unfortunately the past 2 weeks, the scale hasn't moved.

I'm pretty confident that my metabolism is FUBAR from 10 years of an ED. I've read about the metabolism reset and while it makes sense, I just cannot do it. Weight gain is the very thing, that has always prevented me from stopping this vicious cycle in the first place. I stop purging and I gain weight. But with MFP, I've fortunately managed to bypass the gain.

I was hoping, that by stopping purging, I'd slowly repair my metabolism but reading all the info on EM2WL, it looks like I'd have to go much further.

I think I already know the answer to my question, but is there any way I can move forward and get past this plateau, without gaining weight? I wish I could just say "screw it, this is for the future", but I know deep down, that this will end in me making myself sick again, which is the last thing I want to do.

Any advice would be great right now.

Thanks Shy
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07-27-2012, 09:49 AM
Post: #2
RE: Recovering Bulimic
Hey there,

Since recovering from your ED I wouldn't suggest attempting a reset which could trigger you to purge again, because you would most likely gain weight during the process. As you have read the body will gain a bit holding for the next starvation phase...so consistently eating TDEE the body will eventually stabilize and then you can start cut.

I know it truly is a mental challenge watching the scale and it is really great you haven't purged and we don't want you don't want to start that again. Maybe try just adding 50 calories to your diet every couple of weeks to get your metabolism burning higher.

Have you ever done a lifting program? Now, when you lift, you gain awesome calorie burning lean muscle mass, but again the scale will go up, but your size won't...you shrink because lean muscle takes up less space than fat.

Lucia

Lucia

Eating more, lifting heavy and loving life!
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07-27-2012, 09:59 AM
Post: #3
RE: Recovering Bulimic
Hi Lucia, your response is truly refreshing. You're passionate about your methods but at the same time understanding that not everybody can jump right in. Thanks for that.

I haven't yet tried any lifting, I'm fortunate to have a naturally muscular frame and I build muscle fast, I've just never put the time in, to build muscle properly. But it's something I do want to get in to.

I read burn the fat, feed the muscle, which as the title suggests, also recommends building muscle to burn fat.

I'm going to change my weight loss goal to 1lb per week, which will increase my calories to 1720, yikes, big jump! But I desperately want to repair my body and have a healthier future.

I'll also try to introduce some lifting in to my exercise regime.

Thanks again!
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07-27-2012, 10:00 AM
Post: #4
RE: Recovering Bulimic
Awesome...hun, this is your life, you take it slow. Come back and please keep us updated! I look forward to hearing from you!

Lucia

Eating more, lifting heavy and loving life!
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07-27-2012, 07:26 PM
Post: #5
RE: Recovering Bulimic
Justaguy
HUGE congratulations on not purging for a month!! That is an awesome achievement!! happy
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07-27-2012, 09:08 PM
Post: #6
RE: Recovering Bulimic
Justaguy
Congratulations from me too!!

I also spent years binging and purging and starving to keep my weight down. After 33 years I just got sick of having everything I do and every moment of my day being about loosing weight. Being thin was my life, it was more important than my kids and my marriage(s) and I can see that now.

When you are ready, you will stop. It will suck because it is a compulsion and in a strange way it is comforting and it adds order and control to one's life.

I am still a compulsive logger of my food and a compulsive exerciser, but I am trusting this process in hopes that it will be the solution that I have missed all these years (of failure to achieve control). I have to tell myself, every day, that when the weight gain stops, I will loose again and it will be better because I don't have to hide my binges and I don't have to find a way to purge to do it. That is what is working for me; and it is one of the hardest things I have had to do in my life (other than get off of prescription diet drugs and quitting ballet).

When you are ready, the support network is here. So glad you shared your story.

Sharon
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07-28-2012, 12:42 PM
Post: #7
RE: Recovering Bulimic
Hi and Welcome.
I find it amazing, that you found your way to this group and I want to congratulate you on not purging for a month. That is awesome.

As Lucia said-just take your time. Don't rush into things. One step at a time.

I too am recovering from an ED-I was anorexic for some time and seeing the weight gain was not easy.

Keep going at your pace-you will get there. We will help you along the way
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07-30-2012, 02:51 PM (This post was last modified: 07-30-2012 02:52 PM by HeidiHoMom.)
Post: #8
RE: Recovering Bulimic
I was also bulimic....since I was 9 years old Sad

I totally understand how the scale going up can make you purge and enter the cycle again. It's hard.

I started upping my calories slowly and when I saw that I was still able to lose at a higher caloric intake I was amazed. I lost 6.5 pounds initially and then nothing for about 8 weeks and I have now dropped .7 of a pound.

And for one of those weeks I ate my full TDEE and didn't gain (even lost a 1/2 inch on my belly).

Take it slow and let your body work the way it should and I agree with starting to lift and also take your measurements. When the scale wasn't moving the tape measure was my best friend.
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08-02-2012, 03:19 PM
Post: #9
RE: Recovering Bulimic
Like the others massive congratulations on your progress to be purge free for a period of time is such a mental boost. It would seem many of us have a similar story and we all have to find our own way. Whats working for me is only weighing once a week! Part of stopping the binge/purge cycle was actually to get rid of the scales, I didn't weigh myself for about 4yrs, that was probably the most helpful step for me. I did also "confess" to my Doctor which was a turning point, i have since then been on antidepressants. My weight did slowly creep up and I am dealing with that now. As I had spent those 4 yrs eating probably around 2200-2300 calories a day, I am now able to very slowly lose weight on 1800-1900 cals. You probably don't want to hear this but looking at this as a long term slow process could be really helpful. Of course it would be wonderful to get to our "ideal weight" as quickly as possible, but for those of us with an ED taking the slow route might in the long run be the best step! I really wish you all the best and hope you find peace and enjoyment in your food an exercise.happy
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08-05-2012, 01:50 PM
Post: #10
RE: Recovering Bulimic
(08-02-2012 03:19 PM)Pip Wrote:  Like the others massive congratulations on your progress to be purge free for a period of time is such a mental boost. It would seem many of us have a similar story and we all have to find our own way. Whats working for me is only weighing once a week! Part of stopping the binge/purge cycle was actually to get rid of the scales, I didn't weigh myself for about 4yrs, that was probably the most helpful step for me. I did also "confess" to my Doctor which was a turning point, i have since then been on antidepressants. My weight did slowly creep up and I am dealing with that now. As I had spent those 4 yrs eating probably around 2200-2300 calories a day, I am now able to very slowly lose weight on 1800-1900 cals. You probably don't want to hear this but looking at this as a long term slow process could be really helpful. Of course it would be wonderful to get to our "ideal weight" as quickly as possible, but for those of us with an ED taking the slow route might in the long run be the best step! I really wish you all the best and hope you find peace and enjoyment in your food an exercise.happy
Hi there. I am a recovered bulimic myself. My story is on here under transformations. I haven't purged in about 11 years, but still struggle with the binges. I have found some balance back with going through a reset, but I agree with Lucia, I would not attempt that at this point until you hav been able to stay purge free for awhile.
Take it day by day, and I really found journalling to be helpful for me. I had to get to a point where even if I felt guilty about what I ate, I knew I could not purge any more, my body just couldn't take it.
Another thing that I found to be really helpful is when I woke up with one of those moods where I felt very vulnerable...I had to get out of the house and limit my food choices. I don't know if that would help you or not, just offering my experience.
One last thing...I would move forward with increasing your calories very, very slowly. I wish you all the success on your journey.
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