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Week 5 spaz out...
07-11-2012, 10:05 AM
Post: #1
Week 5 spaz out...
I'm copying and pasting this from the MFP board. I am desperate for some advice Huh .....

Hi all... me again. This is going to be a really long post but I really need some advice. I'm mid week 5 of reset. I do 5-6 hours of cardio a week and am eating at the strenuous activity level, putting my TDEE at 2655. I started the week of Father's Day.

Since then, I've probably gone over TDEE more than I've stayed under. None of my clothes fit anymore. My face feels puffy. I haven't weighed myself since starting the reset, but the last time I had weighed myself I was 154. I started MFP in early May at 148 with a goal weight of 145. When I started gaining by eating MFP recommendation + exercise calories, I hit 154. I was ready to cut calories and increase exercise and found this group instead, figuring it couldn't hurt.

What I've realized is.... it does hurt. It hurts to have been so close to goal and now be even farther away. I started over two years ago at 205 pounds and got down to 144-146 which I was able to maintain through a VLCD. Except now I'm wondering if I really was VLCD - I was calculating calories on my own, averaging around 1500-1600, and going by what the machine said I burned, which was 600-700 a session, but these were all just estimates. Maybe I was eating much more and burning much less than I thought and that is how my weight stayed steady. Maybe I was never VLCD at all. When I was doing this, I never binged. I just ate what I ate and it was always about 1600ish calories.

This changed when I got stress fractures in my feet last August and was in a cast/boot for 3 months. During that time I hit an all-time low of 133. I'm 5'10" and 133 didn't look good on me - but wearing such small clothing sizes did. I didn't go to the gym at all between August and December. I gained some weight over the holidays and started back at the gym in January around 140 pounds. I've been steadily increasing since. And now I'm at a number I haven't seen in over a year. I feel like a failure. I feel like there isn't a point to this. I don't strength train because I don't know how and I'm afraid to do it but not do it correctly, so all I do is cardio. I push myself to the edge each workout but I never feel like I'm doing enough.

& now, since resetting, I can't even do this right. I binge, and I binge much more than is seen on my diary - and although there are days I'm right at 2655, there are days when I KNOW I'm in the 3000's. And then I wonder why my clothes don't fit? This week we moved, and I spent all day Monday and yesterday going up and down stairs carrying boxes. Yesterday I was a complete carb monster and could not eat enough. I stopped logging but had two more snacks late last night - a Larabar, some mixed nuts, some peanut butter - all high calorie, high fat items. Why do I do this when my TDEE is so high? How can my body feel like 2655 isn't enough? It's like I can't stop myself. I'm not hungry, I'm not emotional, my body just feels like it needs to eat and eat and eat. When I was maintaining at 144-146, I never did this. I was eating 1000 less calories then but never felt the compulsion to eat like I do now. How does this make sense?

How much damage have I done to myself? What am I going to do when I finally work up the nerve to weigh myself and see 160+ on the scale? I'm going home at the end of the month to see family I haven't seen in months - and last time I saw them I was in the 140s. They're going to look at me and think, 'yep, there she goes... right back to where she started at. I knew she couldn't keep it off.' It's July 11 and I'm going home the 28. That's a little over two weeks to fix things. It cannot be done.

Sorry for the rambling post. I am just so depressed and so down on myself about all of this. Even with eating so much I have no energy. Can anyone help me? Am I doing it all wrong? I don't have a BMF or HRM so I base everything on the machines. Should I only be at 'moderate' activity? I used to work out 7x a week but was starting to get burnt out, so I started taking 1 rest day a week, and then 2.

I didn't want to change my calorie level because I wanted to be consistent through the whole 8 week reset. Have all the days I've exceeded TDEE ruined my consistency? Do I need to do a full 8 weeks at JUST 2655 for the reset to really work?
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07-11-2012, 08:36 PM
Post: #2
RE: Week 5 spaz out...
Wow, im so sorry you are having a rough time right now. You have come a mighty long way and you should be so proud of yourself. I sure am proud of ya! Ok here are a few things that will help:

1. Take a few deep breaths, just sit down, close your eyes and breath deeply and exhale slowly.
2. Start planning your meals daily in the morning or night before (6 of them)
3. Make sure each meal contain all three macros (we suggest daily intake of 40/30/30 carb, prot, fat
4. Start with the protein
5. Drink water when done
6. If you go for something extra make it something with protein after sitting taking a deep breath and thinking about whether you are really hungry or not.

You are not a failure. We won't know any of the answers to what you posed in the beginning of your message. But let's do this, sit down and really think about how many hours you workout and do your calcs based on that number. Then since you were eating more, no harm done (problem when you drop cals during the reset), your metabolism should be revving up. So, finish out your eight weeks and then start your cut. Start with just ten percent.

And again you are way too hard on yourself, you are not a failure, you have come so far my friend. You can do this. Please every time you start to feel yourself stress over it, sit down close your eyes and take those deep breaths. Remind yourself of where you will never go back to. I'm a firm believer of speaking those things as though they are...so speak positive about where you are and where you are going. You are beautifully and wonderfully made. Yesterday was yesterday and tomorrow is a new day.

Lucia

Lucia

Eating more, lifting heavy and loving life!
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